Samantha Update. Bad News :( x

Samantha's baby was Eptopic so she had to have an injection to stop the pregnancy. Heartbreaking <3

Campbell is coming home!!

Just found out that Campbell is coming home tomorrow (Wednesday) which is great as it means we can spend Thursday all day together doing something nice before my Transfer on Friday.

Really glad he is coming home, I really want him to be there with me as we see our Embryos go back in :)

Transfer is coming fast!! :) Cant Wait!! 

Oh ....and the pessaries are horrible! But will all be worth it one day, hopefully 9 months time.

Fingers crossed x

Phonecall to the Lab

Was told to phone the Lab on Wednesday to see how the embryos were doing. Good News!!!

They said that they had took 5 out to be thawed and that 4 survived the process of the thawing. 

So we have to hope that these 4 do okay. I am sure they will. Come on Embies, GROW for Mummy and Daddy <3 xx

Monday 6th August - Last Scan :)

Went for my last scan today to make sure my lining was okay and that it was okay to go ahead with the Transfer. The Lining was perfect again, so the nurse said my transfer would go ahead.

I was told to phone the Embryologist this afternoon to find out if I should start the pessaries tonight. I have to stop the nasal spray at 6pm, then start with the pessaries. Really not looking forward to them. They are meant to be messy, so need to lie still after I insert it for 30 minutes. I have to do this every 12 hours on the dot, and these can continue until 12 weeks pregnant, if I get my BFP (I am hoping so).

We have 11 embryos on ice just now, and on Wednesday 5 of the 11 will be thawed. I then call on Wednesday to see how they are doing and to get a time for my Transfer on Friday. 

If everything goes according to plan, we are having 2 embryos put back in. We were undecided for a while, but think we have made the right decision. I could cope with twins, we could cope with twins. 

 Wee update on Samantha, she has a bleed which didn't look good, but I had a good feeling for her, and shes been in hospital over the weekend, and her beta levels are rising. She has a scan tomorrow to see if they can see anything yet as it is very early. Her numbers more than doubled so she either has a really strong baby, or it could be twins. 

I would love to get my BFP and go through my pregnancy with Samantha, be able to go to baby classes and go shopping together, could be fun. Baby shopping is the best. Sam's boyfriend Scott, although i don't know him overly well, I think will be a good dad. She will make a good mum too and I wish them all the best.

So now, its about 45 minutes until I do the first pessarie. And now I look forward to Wednesday, finding out when Transfer will be. 

Still got my fingers and toes crossed that Campbell will get home, its looking like he could. I would LOVE him to be there with me on Friday more than anything.

Friday 3rd August 2012

So on the 3rd of August, I started my Nasal Spray .... Its such a horrible feeling and taste but I don't even want to complain about it as its all gonna be worth it. So doing the spray 4 times a day just now until the hospital tells me to stop it. 

Monday is my next Scan to see the lining, make sure everything is right and book a date for Transfer. Words cant really describe how excited I feel about doing this, its a step closer to becoming a Mummy.

Met up with my old boss Joan today, took Kate with me. I told her about going through IVF and she gave me incense and oils to help promote fertility, and being positive. She showed me a breathing method that calms and relaxes the body, and also a way of burning all my negative energy and thoughts and sending them to the universe. I feel a lot happier since I have doing the meditating and feeling like I can imagine holding that baby in my arms, my baby. 

Samantha got her BFP!

So, I got a phone call tonight from one of my closest friends Samantha. 

She said she had a shock tonight, and wanted to tell me about it. 

She done 3 pregnancy tests and all were BFP (Big Fat Positive)!!!!

 So so happy for her, and her man Scott. They have been trying for ages and its happened.

Wish them all the luck in the world :D xx

Will he or Wont he ?

So, we know the Transfer of our Embryo will be between 8th and 11th of August. But we still don't know if Campbell will get home for it yet.


I really hope he is getting home, as I want him there. I want to try and get a picture of our embryos and I want him to also see them with me, before they are put back in. 


Going through a process like this makes people closer (most people) and I have loved the fact that I have such a supporting partner, who's been there every step of the way, and listens to me as I gab away all the time about the IVF. Hes never once said to me to stop talking about it, I do know that I go on and on about it lol.


I really hope that this Transfer works, obviously, as I really want to be a mum. I think Campbell will be an amazing dad, I say it all the time. Kids respond well to him, and he has a sensible head on his shoulders.


Got my fingers and toes crossed for the Transfer and for Campbell to be there xx

Good news! (Wednesday 25th July)

Went for my scan today at the hospital. Took 2 seconds and for the first time ever, didn't cause any cramp. nurse said that the lining was fine and I was good to go ahead with the treatment. 

Got my bloods done and been given my tablets (Progynova 6mg) and my Buserelin acetate nasal spray. Start my tablets today and the spray starts on the 3rd August. 

Back to the hospital on the 6th August for another scan and if its all good, then I will have my Transfer on the 8th, 9th or 10th of August.

Feels really exciting that in 2 weeks time I could have my embryo back in my body and could be pregnant with our baby.

 Today was also the first time that I had to go to a hospital appointment myself as Campbell couldn't get home for it. 

Told him the possible transfer dates and hes gonna see what he can do about getting home.

Also, I met Nikki and her husband in the clinic today which made it a bit better. The clinic has an awkward silence every time I am in, and it was nice to talk to someone. Nikki's just a bit ahead, doing a fresh cycle and her collection should be Friday. Wish the both of them Good Luck :) 

 Got to look forward to the 6th now for the next scan :) x

Missed Scan :(

Tuesday 24th July should have been my scan day to check the lining but my alarm didn't go off. 

Don't think I set it properly as I was shattered after being in Blackpool all day.

Had a really good day in Blackpool Pleasure Beach with my brother and 2 sisters.

Scan on Wednesday instead now.

I wish .... I wish !

Living without Campbell is very tough, and it makes me sad everyday. I am very proud of him, getting this good job, and hes settled in really well and seems to be enjoying it. 

I am sad that I don't wake up with him every day, or have to text him or tell him by phone, goodnight. 

It drives me mad.

As soon as my 2ww is over, I will get stuck in with work and try and do lots of shifts to save up mega bucks, so I can move down there beside him. 

I miss his company, his smile, all the cuddles that we share throughout the day, or watching tv together. I miss all these wee small things.

I need to think positive though, my treatment will work, I will be pregnant, and I will be moving down there as soon as possible.

Positive thoughts are what I need to do. Gonna ready up on meditation and ways of de stressing and try doing this every night leading up to my Transfer. I am so excited waiting for it to come. 

Tuesday the 24th is my Ultrasound :) 

Back to normal!

So, after the Prostap Injection on Tuesday, my AF (period) came a few hours later.

Been a sore few days, constant cramp and feeling tired etc.

It will all be worth it so I cant complain. Bring on August for our Transfer x

Prostap Injection - 10th July

Got my Prostap Injection today. Had a bet on with Campbell. He guessed it was in my arm. I guessed my belly. I won!!

Injection was fine, stung a little later on but in general it was fine. When the nurse was getting the needle ready, Campbell said "you want me to do it" which made us laugh but I also was wishing she would have yes ... hes much more gentler. 

Went home after the injection and while Campbell caught up on some work emails, I made us breakfast. I swear I made that with the biggest smile ever .... just feeling so happy hes here and we are starting again with our treatment. Positive thoughts.

Next appointment is on the 24th July and its a scan. I asked the nurse to make a guess when she thinks transfer could take place, she guessed anytime around the 9th August. Exciting!!

So in the meantime, eating lots of fruit, taking my vitamins and just trying to be as stress free as possible. 

Bring on the 24th July.

Bring on Parenthood! xx

RESULTS ARE IN!!

Hospital called .... with the results .... and I can reveal that the winner of Big Brother 2012 is .... sorry got carried away there lol.

Results are that the FET can go ahead and I have been booked in for a Prostap Injection tomorrow morning.

WOOHOO! So happy. 

I am so glad I am going through this process with Campbell. Hes an amazing human being and I am really the luckiest girl in the world <3 xx

Monday 9th July 2012 - Hormone Profile

Appointment at the clinic today at 10am. AF (period) still hasn't arrived since April. I had a bleed after my cancelled cycle, after I recovered from OHSS, then none since.

Went to the appointment to have the hormone profile done, which is a blood test, and this will tell me what happens next. Just have to wait till 2pm for the phone call to tell me the results of the blood test.

Positive thoughts! Will update soon x

What is wrong with me?!

So, in the last couple of weeks, I started a new job in a care home which I liked, apart from some of the workers (usual bitchiness in this kind of job) and things seemed to be going well.

Then for the past few days, all I have wanted to do is cry, sleep and stay in my house. I am now signed off work with back problems, which don't help, and I don't really want to leave the house.

I don't know why I am feeling like this, there is a constant headache and the urge to cry. I am so fed up and having suicidal thoughts, not the first time in my life.

I feel like giving up and i don't know why. I feel alone and like there is no one to talk too either. No one understands ... who can blame them cos I don't even understand.

I am missing Campbell so much is hurts and hate this living apart nonsense. I cant wait for the day I move to be with him again.

I need help, and don't know where to turn to or what to do.

 

FET dates and details!

Been a while since I have wrote on here, since Campbell got his new job. Well since then, Campbell moved to Midsomer Norton in Bath to start his new job. We hate living apart but this is temporary as I will move to be with him. I am staying in Glasgow, for our ivf treatment and if I fall pregnant, will move straight away.

We had our first appointment since our fresh cycle was cancelled in April, on Tuesday 5th June. This was a sad day with some happiness. It was 2 years since my Nana died, which made it a sad start to the day. It was also the day Campbell was going back to Bath for work. But we had the appointment to discuss when we will be having our FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). 

I have to phone them when my period comes (as I didn't have a May one for some reason) and then it will all begin. 

I feel excited, but worried my period wont come again :( 

So need to start being de-stressed and hope it happens for me, for us.

I also start a new job on Thursday, and its long long hours, 12 to be exact and I am dreading it lol. The money is too start saving to move away so that will keep me focused.

Apart from missing Campbell all the time, things are going well :) x