Official Test Day is finally here!

Today is 17 days past transfer. I have been testing through the whole 17 days and every single test has been negative. 

I had my bloods taken this morning and I will get a phone call this afternoon with the result. Although I know its a negative I am still dreading this phone call so much. I don't understand why I am dreading it if I know the answer, I think its just because its official that it has failed and our 2 little embryos did not make it.

Its going to be hard to accept the result, especially as its my first day at work. If I am lucky I will get the result before I go into work by about ten minutes, if not, it will be when I am in work and it will be a voice mail.Going to be hard either way and I feel that I will get emotional. I hope that I can last until I get home.

Today I feel down, and sad, and missing Campbell so much. Wish he was home and would never have to leave again. Hes my world. Hes what keeps me strong. 

So .... this horrible journey of being INFERTILE continues and I continue to DESPISE the body I have been given that keeps me from being a mum.

Shell wants a baby.